Stay in your lane. Stay In Your Lane. STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE!
Dear Guy Who Works At Chipotle,
I don’t know why, but I’m very concerned with what you think of me. I’m nervous that you see me come into your establishment, I don’t know, maybe twice a week (but you and I both know it’s four). Every time you see me, I’m alone, I order one of three things, I always impulsively buy chips at the last minute and I never have a problem with extra $1.80 it costs for you to load guacamole into the baby-sized burrito I’m about to shove down my gullet. I’m concerned that you might think I’m a lonely, single, 32 year old who will inevitably start wearing cilantro perfume and adopt 17 cats.
Dear Woman In Line At Starbucks With The Louis Vuitton Bag,
I’m jealous that you can afford that bag. And now I’m starting to realize, you’re about 7-inches taller than me, 10 pounds lighter, you have a manicure and your hands look like they’ve never washed a dish. Now, I’m actually pissed. For some reason I’ve convinced myself that your life is way easier than mine. Even though I have absolutely no proof of this, I know I’m right. Now, after comparing myself to you, I feel sorry for myself; and instead of getting my planned green tea and banana, I’m getting a sausage sandwich with a venti latte because if people like you have it so easy why should I even try?
Dear Adele,
I think you might be 12 years old. I’m pretty sure you have more soul, heart, passion, strength, human nature and prowess in your belly button than I have in my entire being. Am I dead inside? You’re so young, so powerful and have accomplished so much already. Does that mean that I haven’t accomplished anything at all? Does that mean that I’m not as successful or that I’m not as gifted as you? Oh, and since you run in those circles do you think you could also ask Meryl Streep? I know she’s older than me, but she seems so much better. Can you ask her if I’m a failure?
Dear Websters Dictionary Definition of Success,
You’re worthless to me. You’re like an ex-boyfriend who used to compete with me and tell me what to wear. I’m leaving you. It’s not me. It’s you. I’m going to come up with my own definition of success. When I do that, I’m going to stay in my own lane. I’m not going to look at what other people have, what they’re doing, or what they’ve done that I haven’t. I’m not going to spend my days investigating how other people’s roads were engineered better than mine. I’m not going to worry if anyone thinks I’m doing a good job with my life.
And you know what?
When I WAS looking at your car, watching how you drove it, comparing your road to mine, worrying what YOU thought of MY driving, I almost hit a deer.
So, I’m going to stay my lane. My car isn’t a Bentley, my road has some potholes, but it’s also got a FUCKING DEER.
